Saturday, April 30, 2011
Grindr
Interesting online dating fail: guy claims to be a surgeon, mentions LASIK. I say my mom had LASIK and mentioned astigmatism. Guy corrects me: a stigmatism. I send him screenshot of dictionary definition: astigmatism. Mention Tiger Wood's LASIK surgeon - he says "yeah Dr. X.. taught me about phacoemolification" I say "no, that's not the doctor.. and you mean Phacoemulsification?" then send him a link to an article about hus surgery. He calls me a bitchy queen. I call him not a surgeon.
Friday, October 23, 2009
Saturday, October 10, 2009
FairfaxBrian Finds
New Website - Click the links to buy from my advertisers! I'm finding kickass products on the cheap, and sharing them with my fans! Follow me! :-)
xoxo FairfaxBrian
xoxo FairfaxBrian
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Bang & Olufsen all niiiiiight class warfare
So, I'm considering buying this pair of Bang & Olufsen BeoLab 4 speakers with the Macbook I'm buying in the fall... and I check out the reviews because I wasn't sure whether I could justify $1000 for two pyramid shaped speakers. I mean, I wanna watch movies on it, right?
And they are ridiculous, but I saw two that contrasted so extremely and almost offensively that I thought they may just be the same person:
"These are absolutely the best speakers I have owned. The sound is rich and enjoyable. these speakers make better sound than a three, five, or six piece audio system. I do do think they are too expensive, but worth it, just like a 22 thousand dollar B&O TV. "
...you know, three, FIVE, or six piece audio system. a-who says that that doesn't sell this shit - let's talk about the channels, not the pieces. congrats on the bose. too expensive, but worth it, just like a TV that costs as much as a toyota prius - because if you're going to present a markup metaphor, you're going to try to make the product seem like an ACTUAL nominal fee, not like buying a golden toilet seat. pompus asshole."
I mean, seriously - I always think some people that blog and review and such work for the company - could this be one of them? could this be... maybe... a competitor?
hrrm:
"this speakers went thought 2 different people thne to my uncle than to me, started off at IBM exec office, to a home computer system, then to my uncles work office, and lastly to me....and after 7 months this baby is amazing, good condition ,bass is hard how i like it, and it has good sound in my room, i recommend it if you have 1000 dollars to spend....i think this one beats the Bose one for 1099...the big white one with quad speakers go around the sub, neways for 1 grand this thing is really good, espacilly after 7 months of high volume usage, no buffer, or rattle "
... ok. so you're certainly drunk, or such an unbelievable backwater redneck homeless fuck-up that you literally didn't notice any errors in your post. well.. so what you're saying is... your uncles CEO bought the speakers, and thought "what the fuck did i spend a thousand fucking dollars for? and it's past the damn return policy" - and handed them to his secretary to give her nephew for christmas... and he had never fucking heard of bang & olufsen and sold them for $100 to your uncle jebediah, who doesn't even use a computer, so he gave them to you when you mentioned how cool they looked. you thought - "thank god, i don't have to listen to my gateway laptop speakers anymore - i worry that they'll start a fire lately," and 'OH SNAP - my speakers aren't built-in anymore - i'd NEVER used speakers that weren't built in! this shit is rockin'! and i truly have the best speakers in the trailer park - i turned it up real high like once, and the tin walls started rattlin'!'. you then, in a drunken stupor, collapsed next to your computer and decided to write a review. and then looked for the next highest price point in the category, and wrote about how 'they're an even better deal than the one that's even $1100 fuckin' dollars - d'ya baleed dad chit!? hooooooie!' - failing to mention the fact that you haven't even had sony computer side speakers before. 'i've been blasting my-chemical-romance for 7 months (my dad hates it - and beats my mom when he's drunk), and i still haven't blown them out!'.
BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE! He mentioned the alternative in the review - and it's not going to be hard to find an $1100 bose sound system that references compact surround sound...
so let's check it out:
http://www.bose.com/controller?url=/shop_online/home_theater/321_systems/321_gs/index.jsp
obviously the choice - it's also a dvd player; perfect for my room.
and the same price - how the hell did they find something for 1100 without ending up with at least 5 high quality bose speakers, thereby invalidating their claim entirely - as the comparable 3-2-1 system is in a league far above and beyond.
hi. my name is brian, and i'm a bose. guess i've made my choice!
<3
and i just spent 2 hours on the computer dicking around the apple store.
goodnight!
And they are ridiculous, but I saw two that contrasted so extremely and almost offensively that I thought they may just be the same person:
"These are absolutely the best speakers I have owned. The sound is rich and enjoyable. these speakers make better sound than a three, five, or six piece audio system. I do do think they are too expensive, but worth it, just like a 22 thousand dollar B&O TV. "
...you know, three, FIVE, or six piece audio system. a-who says that that doesn't sell this shit - let's talk about the channels, not the pieces. congrats on the bose. too expensive, but worth it, just like a TV that costs as much as a toyota prius - because if you're going to present a markup metaphor, you're going to try to make the product seem like an ACTUAL nominal fee, not like buying a golden toilet seat. pompus asshole."
I mean, seriously - I always think some people that blog and review and such work for the company - could this be one of them? could this be... maybe... a competitor?
hrrm:
"this speakers went thought 2 different people thne to my uncle than to me, started off at IBM exec office, to a home computer system, then to my uncles work office, and lastly to me....and after 7 months this baby is amazing, good condition ,bass is hard how i like it, and it has good sound in my room, i recommend it if you have 1000 dollars to spend....i think this one beats the Bose one for 1099...the big white one with quad speakers go around the sub, neways for 1 grand this thing is really good, espacilly after 7 months of high volume usage, no buffer, or rattle "
... ok. so you're certainly drunk, or such an unbelievable backwater redneck homeless fuck-up that you literally didn't notice any errors in your post. well.. so what you're saying is... your uncles CEO bought the speakers, and thought "what the fuck did i spend a thousand fucking dollars for? and it's past the damn return policy" - and handed them to his secretary to give her nephew for christmas... and he had never fucking heard of bang & olufsen and sold them for $100 to your uncle jebediah, who doesn't even use a computer, so he gave them to you when you mentioned how cool they looked. you thought - "thank god, i don't have to listen to my gateway laptop speakers anymore - i worry that they'll start a fire lately," and 'OH SNAP - my speakers aren't built-in anymore - i'd NEVER used speakers that weren't built in! this shit is rockin'! and i truly have the best speakers in the trailer park - i turned it up real high like once, and the tin walls started rattlin'!'. you then, in a drunken stupor, collapsed next to your computer and decided to write a review. and then looked for the next highest price point in the category, and wrote about how 'they're an even better deal than the one that's even $1100 fuckin' dollars - d'ya baleed dad chit!? hooooooie!' - failing to mention the fact that you haven't even had sony computer side speakers before. 'i've been blasting my-chemical-romance for 7 months (my dad hates it - and beats my mom when he's drunk), and i still haven't blown them out!'.
BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE! He mentioned the alternative in the review - and it's not going to be hard to find an $1100 bose sound system that references compact surround sound...
so let's check it out:
http://www.bose.com/controller?url=/shop_online/home_theater/321_systems/321_gs/index.jsp
obviously the choice - it's also a dvd player; perfect for my room.
and the same price - how the hell did they find something for 1100 without ending up with at least 5 high quality bose speakers, thereby invalidating their claim entirely - as the comparable 3-2-1 system is in a league far above and beyond.
hi. my name is brian, and i'm a bose. guess i've made my choice!
<3
and i just spent 2 hours on the computer dicking around the apple store.
goodnight!
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Monday, June 1, 2009
"Your Sotomayor Scorecard" puts it best
Ken Rudin with NPR hit the nail on the head in this article - leave Sotomayor alone.
I really don't like "latina" though - it's just so hard to keep up with terminology - I mean, she's American, right? I'm just gonna call her Sonia. Or your honor. Or Miss Thang.
I really don't like "latina" though - it's just so hard to keep up with terminology - I mean, she's American, right? I'm just gonna call her Sonia. Or your honor. Or Miss Thang.
MTV Gives Eminem What He Deserves!
Seriously - I'm so over Eminem, or Marshall Mathers, or whatever - he's a homophobic wifebeating asshole - and I hope it takes days to wash that Angel Taint outta his face! SLAM!
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Won't Back Down - help repeal Prop 8
When do we march, DC?
Donate: https://secure.ga3.org/03/hwontbackdown
This needs to end. This IS a matter of right and wrong - fuck everyone that voted yes, in any anti-gay proposition or question, especially HB751 in VA and Prop 8 in CA. You're assholes and hypocrites; modern day racists.
Die.
Monday, May 25, 2009
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Father's Day is June 21! Are YOU Ready!?!?
OK everyone, I always put this stuff off until the VERY last minute, but this time I'm on top of things, and I'm ready to help you all get Father's Day taken care of!
Here are some awesome gift options I'm placing an order for next week - so if you are interested in a sweet father's day gift for a reasonable price, make sure you give me a call (703-307-7432), or order by clicking any of the items below to go directly to my website, and I'll make sure I have everything in and delivered (free, as always) in time for Father's Day! As always, feel free to shop around for yourself too!
Order away!
<3 FairfaxBrian
Limit-Edition Men's Fragrance Gift Sets - FairfaxBrian SALE! 25% off (plus sales tax)!:
$40 NEW! Limited-Edition Men’s Fragrance Gift Set: MK High Intensity™
$40 NEW! Limited-Edition Men’s Fragrance Gift Set: Domain®
MK Men Skin Care - FairfaxBrian SALE! %25 off all 5 (plus sales tax):
Pictured:
$14 MKMen® Face Bar
$10 MKMen® Shave Foam
$14 MKMen® Cooling After-Shave Gel
$22 MKMen® Moisturizer Sunscreen SPF 25*
$14 MKMen® Body Spray
Full Size Colognes - FairfaxBrian SALE! $5 off any full-size bottle of cologne or perfume (includes women's perfumes!):
MK High Intensity™ Cologne Spray - An ambery oriental fragrance with intriguing top notes of icy black fennel and silver sage heightened by crushed coffee beans.
Here are some awesome gift options I'm placing an order for next week - so if you are interested in a sweet father's day gift for a reasonable price, make sure you give me a call (703-307-7432), or order by clicking any of the items below to go directly to my website, and I'll make sure I have everything in and delivered (free, as always) in time for Father's Day! As always, feel free to shop around for yourself too!
Order away!
<3 FairfaxBrian
Limit-Edition Men's Fragrance Gift Sets - FairfaxBrian SALE! 25% off (plus sales tax)!:
$40 NEW! Limited-Edition Men’s Fragrance Gift Set: MK High Intensity™
$40 NEW! Limited-Edition Men’s Fragrance Gift Set: Domain®
MK Men Skin Care - FairfaxBrian SALE! %25 off all 5 (plus sales tax):
Pictured:
$14 MKMen® Face Bar
$10 MKMen® Shave Foam
$14 MKMen® Cooling After-Shave Gel
$22 MKMen® Moisturizer Sunscreen SPF 25*
$14 MKMen® Body Spray
Full Size Colognes - FairfaxBrian SALE! $5 off any full-size bottle of cologne or perfume (includes women's perfumes!):
MK High Intensity™ Cologne Spray - An ambery oriental fragrance with intriguing top notes of icy black fennel and silver sage heightened by crushed coffee beans.
Domain® Cologne Spray - A blend of lavender, oak moss and musk.
Tribute® for Men Spray Cologne - A contemporary blend of citrus fruits, earthy patchouli and musk.
Velocity® for Him Cologne - This airy fragrance captures the freshness of mountain air and the crisp, clean scent of wooded forests.
Nancy Pelosi
This Nancy Pelosi witch-hunt is getting out of control!
Seriously!? Does anyone think the CIA, under Bush/Cheney, would
address the Democratic House about torture and really let them know
that they were waterboarding people? No way, Jose. Nobody has said "no
we didn't" at the CIA; just 'the CIA isn't in the habit of misleading
Congress."
...Sure... We dont have "mislead congress" in our SOP'..,
...Anymore... Leave Nancy alone; she can be annoying but she isn't a
freakin crook or liar, and she obviously didn't allow waterboarding to
take place without saying anything.
Besides, how are Republicans trying to demonize her... for
allegedly... knowing... that THEY... were having people tortured...
The GOP is shootin' blanks. I love how they're already preparing
objections to Obama's Supreme Court pick, even though he hasn't chosen
anybody yet. Lame. Fail. Go crawl under a rock and die. GOP trail of
tears to TX, anyone?
FairfaxBrian
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
2008 DNC Convention: Show Some Fucking Respect
OK.
A: Mark Warner's speech was great, but kind of disappointing. We've been hearing speeches from the likes of Hillary Clinton, Joe Biden, and Barack Obama, though, so I guess I'll let it slide. He'll be our President someday, god willing.
B: Hillary blew it out of the park. Again. A pattern that not a single rabid Obama blogger seems to understand. Those fuckers can't get over the Clintons; sorry she ran against your candidate, and sorry she tried to win. Listen to her here.
Joe Biden sealed the deal for me - I'm voting Obama. But God help me if I hear one more person call the Clintons selfish and arrogant, or corrupt and vindictive. They taught me to believe in the platform, and to vote Democrat. That's what I'm gonna do.
But it still should've been Hillary.
A: Mark Warner's speech was great, but kind of disappointing. We've been hearing speeches from the likes of Hillary Clinton, Joe Biden, and Barack Obama, though, so I guess I'll let it slide. He'll be our President someday, god willing.
B: Hillary blew it out of the park. Again. A pattern that not a single rabid Obama blogger seems to understand. Those fuckers can't get over the Clintons; sorry she ran against your candidate, and sorry she tried to win. Listen to her here.
Joe Biden sealed the deal for me - I'm voting Obama. But God help me if I hear one more person call the Clintons selfish and arrogant, or corrupt and vindictive. They taught me to believe in the platform, and to vote Democrat. That's what I'm gonna do.
But it still should've been Hillary.
Start
I've decided I need to write a book. Unfortunately, I have no patience to write a book... so I'm starting a blog. Either way, I'm smarter than you, so I feel it's my civic duty.
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